Read the original article on Best Life. Lots of beloved Christmas songs tell stories of memorable characters like Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, but most of us wish we could forget the central figures of NewSong’s “The Christmas Shoes,” which recounts a little boy trying to scrounge up enough money to buy shoes for his terminally ill mother. Nothing kills the holiday mood quite like the lyric “Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there’s not much time.” And if you’re in need of real Christmas cheer, check out The Best Christmas Movies of All Time, According to Critics. Paul McCartney was simply having a wonderful time with his synthesizer on this unbelievably grating and consistently overplayed Christmas “classic.” One of the key problems with “Wonderful Christmastime”—and oh, there are many—is that now that you’re thinking about it, it will be stuck in your head all day. You’re welcome. Well, it was certainly well intentioned for Bob Geldof and Midge Ure to put together the supergroup Band Aid and record “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” to raise money for the famine in Ethiopia. Nevertheless, the song itself is deeply condescending, with a stereotypical and archaic understanding of the Ethiopian people. Geldof himself called it one of the “worst songs in history.” And if you love Christmas, try these Fun Christmas Facts to Get You in the Holiday Spirit. Here’s the thing: either you appreciate the sped-up chipmunk voices created by David Seville (AKA Ross Bagdasarian) or you don’t. But even for those of us who grew up with Alvin and the Chipmunks, listening to Alvin’s incessant high-pitched requests for a hula hoop in “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late)” gets old fast. You’ve heard of Rudolph, but what about the title character of “Dominick the Donkey”? That’s right, the donkey who helps Santa bring presents made in Brooklyn to children in Italy. There’s a reason why this song is more of a regional hit than a mainstream Christmas classic. And for more cultural distinctions, discover 20 Ways Christmas Is Celebrated Differently Across the U.S. The thing is, as long as you’re in on the joke here—that is, the truth behind Santa Claus that we’d certainly never reveal—“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” is pretty cute. But for kids who aren’t in the know, there’s something genuinely unsettling about lyrics like, “Then I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus / Underneath his beard so snowy white.” Yikes. Years before Sufjan Stevens gave us endless Christmas songs about dysfunctional families, John Denver inflicted “Please, Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)” on his fans. The title pretty much says it all, but the song, about an 8-year-old who doesn’t want to see his mamma cry, is unbearably bleak. Speaking of imbibing too much, in “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” the titular grandmother gets soused on eggnog and wanders outside where—well, you know the rest. As a novelty song for adults, it’s a little funny, but somehow this tune has become something of a standard, and given the trauma on display here, that’s rather upsetting. And for more holiday content delivered straight to your inbox, sign up for our daily newsletter. Provided they’re played for the appropriate audience, there’s no shame in a raunchy Christmas song—just look at almost any rendition of “Santa Baby.” Lady Gaga took things to another level with “Christmas Tree,” though, and the combination of mind-numbing repetition and deeply unsubtle innuendo makes this one controversial carol we’d rather not hear again. Speaking of “Santa Baby,” the song has its share of fans and detractors. But Michael Bublé’s version is particularly irritating. That’s because he changes the lyrics to make sure everyone knows he is not attracted to Santa, which just leads to unbelievably awkward phrases like “Santa buddy,” “Santa pally,” and the truly awful “I’ll wait up for you, dude.” And for more Christmas cringe, These Are the Worst Christmas Movies of All Time, According to Critics. Sure, it’s cute when kids are between baby teeth and adult teeth and speak with a little whistle. The problem with “All I Want for Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth)” is that no one wants to hear an entire song sung with that whistle. This is one of the few Christmas songs where the Alvin and the Chipmunks cover is actually not the most annoying version. As much as we love John Lennon and Yoko Ono, and as much as we appreciate the protest song origins of “Happy Xmas (War Is Over),” this track probably never needed to become a Christmas standard. The repetition is a bit much, and sadly, the message has gotten more bitterly ironic over the past couple decades. Listen, we all want things. But despite 10-year-old Gayla Peevey’s impressive pipes, there is no reason why we should have to be subjected to her truly unreasonable request in “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.” It’s never all that fun to hear kids sing, especially when they’re brattily declaring they won’t settle for crocodiles or rhinoceroses. Thankfully, Justin Bieber’s “Mistletoe” has largely fallen out of rotation since its 2011 release, a single from his Christmas album, Under the Mistletoe. He may have been hoping for a modern-day pop classic like Mariah Carey’s enduring “All I Want for Christmas Is You,” but the chorus (“Shawty, with you / Shawty, with you / Under the mistletoe”) just didn’t carry the same punch. In terms of messaging, “Puppies Are Forever” has a point: You should probably not get someone a puppy for Christmas, because they’re gonna have to take care of that dog long past the holiday. But oof, hearing “puppies are forever, not just for Christmas” over and over again is actually more laborious than cleaning up after an unruly pooch. It’s not New Kids on the Block’s fault that “Funky, Funky Xmas” hasn’t exactly aged well. Like many cultural artifacts from the ’80s, it was probably best left in that decade. Nevertheless, no list of bad Christmas songs would be complete without this grating dud. We’re still not sure what a “funky Christmas” is, but we’d rather avoid having one. And if you were into NKOTB, check out The Biggest ’80s Teen Idols, Then and Now. “Merry Christmas With Love” has always been a maudlin, cloying Christmas song, so in many ways, it’s not Clay Aiken’s fault. But he did breathe new life into this hated tune, even using it to title his Christmas album, so yes, if you’ve heard this song over the last 16 years, it’s absolutely on him.ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb The best Christmas songs are sad, it’s true, but there is a limit. And the classic “The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot,” memorably performed by Nat King Cole (among others), walks right over that line. Just reading the lyrics can send you into an emotional tailspin: “In the street he envies all those lucky boys / Then wanders home to last year’s broken toys / I’m so sorry for that laddie / He hasn’t got a daddy.” Oof. We can debate “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” the way we do every year, or we can simply acknowledge that this controversial song is hated by a sufficient number of people to merit inclusion on this list. Interestingly enough, the She & Him rendition flips the genders, making it somewhat less problematic, but the performance is so overwhelmingly twee that it’s plenty annoying in its own right. And for covers you probably remember for the right seasons, check out The 50 Best Cover Songs of All Time.
