Sure, maybe you’re not getting the satisfaction you had hoped from the experience. After all, you deserve pleasure, and it’s empowering to speak up for it. But phrasing it this way can only make matters worse, for both of you. “This statement can make everything go wrong as soon as you spit it out of your mouth,” says relationship expert Amy Olson. “I don’t mean you can’t communicate your needs or what you would like better. But don’t tell him or her that they are doing it wrong. It will make them feel embarrassed. Instead, just say, ‘Can you do it like this?’” Want to know what else to avoid when you’re getting to know someone intimately? Read on for more tips from the pros about what you should never say to someone in bed. And for another phrase that should never leave your lips, This Is the Worst Thing You Could Say to Someone Who Just Got Divorced. Certainly using the wrong name is a big no-no that would be deeply awkward for both of you, and also likely leave lasting scars. “Sex is an intimate experience and many people have insecurities related to it,” explains psychologist Thomas DiBlasi, PhD. “Saying anything that refers to the person as being inadequate in bed would hurt.” Besides, if you’re still pining for an ex, you might have some more work to do before you can move on healthily with a new partner anyway. Worried that could be you? Here are the Signs You’re Not Ready to Date Again, According to Dating Experts. To be clear, asking about a partner’s sexual health history is important and fully justifiable. You should ask if your partner has been tested, and you are entitled to a straightforward answer. But this is a question you should ask far earlier. “This is a before discussion,” author and life coach Aidan Park says plainly. “Not an after discussion.” And for other questions to avoid in less vulnerable situations, here’s The One Question You Always Ask That Can Kill a Conversation. Comparing your partner to any others from your past can trigger lasting insecurity. “Saying something that undermines their security or sense of self is hurtful and damaging,” explains Cassandra LeClair, PhD, senior lecturer in the department of communication studies at Texas State University. “This type of comment reinforces feelings of self doubt and may lead them to question themselves in relationships going forward.“ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb So, while this might not be the partner for you, it’s not necessary to shatter their confidence for a future partner who might be a better match. And if you’re doing it less these days, here is The No. 1 Reason You’re Having Less Sex in Your Relationship, Study Says. Of course good hygiene is important, and you’d hope your partner adheres to a similarly high standard as you do. But halitosis isn’t necessarily a sign of bad hygiene. “Bad breath [can be] a symptom of digestive problems,” says Sandra Glavan, the founder of Super Sensitive Sandi, a website for helping people reduce and manage anxiety. “Even if the person brushes their teeth five times a day, they can still have bad breath in the morning. Most people who suffer from bad breath know it and feel very conscious about it. [Confronting them] can cause problems with their confidence, intimacy, and sex life.” And for other ways you may be offending people in your life, here are the Rude Things You Didn’t Realize You’re Doing Every Day.
